


The Princess is not what she seems

by NeoCthulhu



Category: South Park
Genre: Elvish King Kyle, F/M, Fake Marriage, Kinda, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Paladin Butters, Princess Kenny McCormick, Princess Kenny can use magic, Princess Kenny is powerful and should be feared, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Stick of Truth AU, ranger stan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:35:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21771565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoCthulhu/pseuds/NeoCthulhu
Summary: King Kyle knew it was going to be an odd day when The Princess of Kupa Keep and her Paladin show up in his court requesting a fake marriage. However, what happens when Stan brings up the death of a group of his men that just so happens to be connected to the Princess?Princess Kenny goes by she/they!
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	The Princess is not what she seems

Kyle put his head in his hands and sighed. A king shouldn't have to deal with petty disputes such as this. Well, he supposed it wasn't really petty, just odd. But never the less he looked at the two in front of him with tired eyes.

"And why are you both here? Should you not be in Kupa Keep?" God, even his voice sounded tired. He needed to rest more. Unsurprisingly, it was the Paladin that spoke first.

"The Wizard wishes to marry the Princess off to the Prince of Barbarians. However neither the Prince nor Princess are very happy about this and we would like your help." The Paladin spoke with confidence and a hand lingering by his hammer, clearly ready to fight in case someone wished to attack them. This piqued the Kings interest.

"Marriage? To the Prince of Barbarians? I was under the impression that he was to be wed with the Thief Feldspar." Kyle sat up straight. The Wizard was planning something horrible, as usual.

"Tweek and Feldspar are in fact to be wed, however the news of their engagement isn't known to the Wizard or King of Barbarians." The Paladin was the one who spoke once again.

"And why should I help? Apart from the obvious of annoying the Wizard." Kyle said with a wave of his hand. He had no reason to help these two. What happened in Kupa Keep was none of his business. The Paladin opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted as the Princess raised her hand to silence him. Kyle raised an eyebrow. The Princess wasn't exactly known for speaking for herself. Or well, speaking in general. Most people in his kingdom were under the impression that she was mute.

"My King, please think of it like this. If the Wizard forces me and the Prince to wed then the Wizard will, without a doubt kill Tweeks Father and become Ruler of both kingdoms. That will mean that he would have full control over the Barbarians and their army," She paused to flatten her dress before raising her head to look the king directly in the eyes. "And there is no doubt in my mind that the Wizard will immediately declare war on your kingdom. You and I both know that you would not survive that war." Her voice was emotionless, yet they could somehow sense the tone of softness inside her words. Kyle stared at her wide eyed. 

"And what plan do you and your Paladin have?" Kyle looked to his side in surprise, Stan, his ranger and best friend, had responded for him. The Princess adjusted her crown before speaking.

"I propose a fake marriage between the Princess of Kupa Keep and The King of the Elves." The Princess smiled softly as she spoke, or at least the King assumed by her voice.

"Princess, what are you talking about?" The Paladin looked at her with shock and worry. It was pretty clear she hadn't mentioned all of the plan to her Paladin. She looked at him before grabbing his hand to squeeze it lightly whilst smiling. She then turned to face the King, adjusting her crown once again as she did so.

"If we were to be wed or even stage a fake marriage then I can throw the Wizard off of his throne and take it for myself, as is my birth right." She practically spat the end of the sentence.

The room was silent and the atmosphere tense and uneasy as the King thought for a few moments.

"Your Paladin. What's his name?" Kyle looked at the boy dressed head to toe in shades of blue.

"Paladin Butters The Merciful is my title your highness." Butters gave a small bow as the Kings eyes widened once again. No way was this boy who he said he was.

The Paladin Butters. The Paladin known for being fierce and merciless in battle, was him? The man feared by most of his army? The King looked at the Paladin again. The person in front of him looked as though he'd cry if someone did so much as to raise their voice at him. 

The Princess let out a small chuckle, "I do assure you that he is truly Paladin Butters The Merciful, we have no good reason to lie to you." She said as if she had read his mind. The King stayed silent.

The King looked over at the Princess next. She was easily the shortest in the room. She wore a plain looking dress with a purple top and white skirt, gold lining the ending of the skirt and golden short sleeves. White gloves went to her elbow. Her hair done in lazy plaits with ribbon braided in. A golden crown dawned her head, however it certainly didn't look as Grand as the King expected. At a first glance she certainly looked like a noble, but not the great Princess the humans made her out to be.  
And finally, there was her face. Purple eyes that seemed to shine with love, innocence and something else he couldn't place. The end of a scar on her cheek could be seen coming out from underneath her mask. Then there was her mask. He, of course, had heard that the Princess of Kupa Keep wore an orange mask to cover her mouth but he could never find out why.

"The mask." He spoke without thinking. The Princess looked at him in surprise.

"What about it?" She tried to speak with a soft tone, however it came out quite defensive.

"Why do you wear it?" He grinned at her, leaning his head lightly on the back of his hand.

However, the Princess seemed to grin back before responding. "I'm afraid that's only for my partner and husband to know. Or well in this instance" She winked at the King, "My fake Husband."

The King raised an eyebrow. "Your partner? Would that not be your husband?" He only looked more confused when the Princess laughed.

"Of course not!" She raised her hand as if she was going to cover her mouth while laughing, which was odd considering her mask, "A partner is someone who you love and care for. Most marriages in Kupa Keep are only for politics or for the riches that come along with a wealthy family," All the humor fell from her face in an instance, "as long as the wizard is in charge, my marriage will have nothing to do with love. He'll practically give me away to the highest bidder at this point. I'd just like to beat him to it."

Kyle couldn't help but ask, "And do you have a partner, my dear Princess?" A smile had made it's way onto his face. The Princess was certainly amusing and he couldn't deny that she was attractive. The Princess's eyes lit up as the King noticed her Paladin begin to blush.

"Well of course!" She spoke calmly, "It's only customary for a Princess to have a partner until she gets married off to some random noble." Her tone fell into bitterness towards the end of her sentence. 

The King frowned before nodding. "Alright, if it means throwing the Wizard off his Throne and gaining the trust of the Barbarians, then I'll fake marry you. You can stay in my Kingdom for a few nights, if you so wish. However, I will need to learn your name. Princess?"

She lifted her dress as she bowed. "Kenny, Princess Kenny McCormick." She motioned for her Paladin to bow with her. Butters gave a small nod before give a small bow. The Princess adjusted her gloves before talking, "And you, my King?"

Kyle looked at her, confused, "Excuse me?" He thought for a moment before realizing, "Oh! Kyle, my name is Kyle." He gestured to the man standing next to him, "This is my ranger and general, Stan." Stan nodded to the Paladin before giving a small bow to the Princess. It was only when he rose and looked at the Princess again did he freeze. He knew he recognized her.

"One last question, Princess. If you wouldn't mind? Then we'll have someone take you and your Paladin to a room to stay the night." Stan spoke up, shocking the others but he waited until the Princess nodded before speaking again.

"Why do my men fear you?" Stans voice was ice cold. The Princess visibly tensed as the words left his mouth. Kyle looked wide eyed at Stan and then to the Princess. The Princess began to pale as her Paladin grabbed his hammer. 

"I think it would be a good idea for you to think very, very carefully about what you say next." The Paladins voice changed completely from the soft voice he had earlier. This was the voice of a man willing to kill someone just for coming near those he swore to protect. A man with nothing to lose. 

"Stan, explain yourself." The King hissed. Stan took a few steps towards the Princess. Butters immediately stood in front of her, hammer in hand ready to fight. Stan gestured to the guards in the room.

"Well, I've noticed that whenever the Princess talks, my men pale and grip their weapons tighter," Stan looked the Princess dead in the eye before continuing, "Why are they scared of you? If you're just a helpless Princess like you make yourself out to be then they have no reason to fear you." The Paladin opened his mouth to speak but Stan interrupted.

"I do believe the Princess isn't what she seems to be, after all I vividly remember sending a troop of fifteen men to scout out the forest near Kupa Keep. However after about," Stan thought for a moment, "Three days, I received a letter saying a Princess was seen walking about on her own often. Of course, nothing odd there," He chuckled as he saw the Princesses eyes widen.

"Stan what are you implying? What are you saying?" The King spoke up, only for the Ranger to ignore him.

"Two days later, only three men from that troop returned to the Kingdom. They all had claimed some 'unholy being' with purple eyes that looked as if they were glowing, emerged from the darkness and slaughtered the rest." Stan looked the Princess dead in the eyes, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, now would you Princess?" Silence engulfed the room as The King kept looking from Stan to the Princess.

That was until the Princess began to laugh, quietly at first but soon turned into almost hysterical laughter.

"What? Why are you laughing? Stop it if you know what's good for you!" Stan knew he would've already attacked the Princess by now if it had not been for the Paladin in his way. The ranger would never admit it but he was sure that the Paladin could easily kill him if he truly wanted to. He would never last in a fight against the Paladin.

"Was that supposed to be some kind of threat?" She spoke but there was something off about her voice, "Your men were not attacked in the way they may have told you. There was no 'unholy beast' as you say." She took a few steps to be in front of Butters, who immediately stepped down, as if he knew what was about to happen. Stan immediately tightened his grip on his weapon.

"Your men recognized me and planned to kidnap me, in hope that the Grand Wizard would pay anything to get me back from the Elves. Pretty basic and stupid plan but that's what they decided to do. They attempted to capture me so, naturally I fought back." She calmly put her hands behind her back.

"The Paladin was with you?" The King questioned.

The Princess shook her head, "Nope! I was on my own when it happened! After all, if my Paladin was with me then they would've seen him as a threat and left me alone." The Princess cocked her head to the side before speaking. "Your men threatened my life, my Paladins life and the life of one of my knights. I did what I deemed necessary to defend myself and those I love." Her eyes were wide and emotionless, however her voice was filled with amusement. "I showed them why I am not to be messed with. Why many fear me." 

Kyle looked at her wide eyed as the room began to darken. His eyes quickly looked to the lanterns on the walls, one by one they were all being extinguished. Quickly getting to his feet, he noticed the shadows that began to swirl along the walls, surrounding the guards shadows. Shadows quickly began to engulf the remaining light, leaving the room in almost total darkness. Kyle was suddenly thankful for the full moon that provided what little light it could. 

"Is this your doing?" Kyle narrowed his eyes and pointed his staff at the Princess. She only laughed at him. However her laugh was different, it wasn't the same light and almost delicate one from before, no, this sounded almost demonic. 

"Well of course! A Princess must know some ways of defending herself and well, this is my choice!" She laughed as she spoke. Shadows began to swirl around the bottom of her skirt and Kyles eyes widened. He didn't think there was anyone left alive who still knew how to use and control dark magic. There was no denying, it was an incredibly powerful and dangerous form of magic, all those with the control died out centuries ago. So why does this feeble Princess know how to use it? 

"The Wizard has a library in his castle, completely filled with books about this kind of magic. It wasn't hard to learn how to control it!" She laughed while speaking.

The Princess finally snapped her head to look at Stan before talking.

"Your men were given a chance to let me go and save themselves." She tucked her hair behind her ear, "In fact, I'm pretty sure I gave them two chances!" She brought a fist up and extended her index finger. "First chance was as they were restraining me, my exact words were 'If you don't let me go then I'll make sure you regret it'. Of course they all laughed and assumed that I was threatening them with the Wizards powers," She laughed as she extended a second finger, "The second chance was when they were making a fire and threatening to burn me whe-" Unfortunately she was cut off.

"My men wouldn't do that. They've been warned not to hurt hostages." Stan practically hissed. Kyle glared at him before motioning to the Princess to continue. She nodded her thanks. 

"Your men are liars and have done so many things behind your back. They threatened to burn my legs as the wounds wouldn't be visible due to my skirt. They even mentioned burning underneath my mask. They mentioned doing stuff like that to many other hostages too but, of course they're your men and you clearly know them best." She glared at the ranger before continuing, "Anyway, the second time I gave them a chance was around the fire. They were talking about taking off my mask. So naturally, I warned them against it but one of them attempted to take it off so I fought back as I saw fit." Her voice was beginning to twist, going demon-like, as if she were a different person. 

"The first death was just supposed to be a warning, but of course, the rest of them were just as stupid as the first." She barely made it through her sentence before the Ranger tried to attack her. Much to the surprise of all the elves in the room, Butters did not move, however his grip on his hammer tightened, as if he was physically stopping himself from attacking Stan. Princess Kenny just stepped back as Stan swung his sword at her. The King immediately raised his hand and opened his mouth to stop Stan but stopped when he saw Butters shake his head at him. Instead the King just raised an eyebrow as Butters pointed to the Princess and the Ranger.

"The Princess knows what they're doing. Trust the Princess now or you'll never see their true nature. Never see their true nature and you'll never truly trust them." The Paladin said to the King. The King frowned before turning his attention back to the fight happening in his court. He was honestly surprised by what he was seeing, the Princess was dodging every attack the Ranger sent her way. She looked bored almost. No, scratch that, she looked annoyed but kept an almost bored look on her face as if to mock the ranger.

"You had twelve of my men killed and you continue to lie about it!" Stan hissed as he charged at the Princess.

"I have not lied about anything. You just refuse to see the truth that your men were killed by a single person." She hissed back as she stepped out of his way. Shadows began to dance around the two as Stan got more and more frustrated. A few moments later Stan froze before a wide grin made its way onto his face.

"You said you were a McCormick right? You have a sister named Karen correct?" The Princess immediately froze and stared at him with wide eyes. Butters face turned to one of pure anger as he began to step towards the Ranger. The Princess raised her hand after a moment, stopping him.

"What information do you have regarding my sister?" Her voice was cold and quiet.

"All I know about her is that she's been missing for a year, right? Or at least around a year." He paused, "And that she had two brothers, no sisters. So either you're lying about being a McCormick or you're not really a Princess." Kenny stared at him with wide eyes. That motherfucker did research? When the actual fuck had he done research?

"And that my men found her body on the edge of these woods sometime earlier this year. I'm sorry but we don't know how she died though." Stans smile was long gone, as much as he wanted to mock his opponent, he couldn't smile at the thought of a dead child. It was a few moments before he looked back at the Princesses face. He immediately took a step back and gripped his weapon tighter. Kennys face was filled with pure rage as they took a step toward Stan. 

"You don't know shit about me or my family." Stan paled when he saw the shadows that seemed to be coming from under the Princesses skirt. "You're just a fucking coward like the rest of your men were. Stepping away when I've done nothing." Kennys voice was filled with rage as they kept walking towards Stan.

"Kenny, I think-" Butters spoke up, voice filled with worry, but was immediately cut off by the Princess. 

"Be quiet." They glared at him, Butters immediately shut up when he noticed Kennys eyes looked to be glowing. The King also noticed and he became very worried for his ranger.

"Princess it would be wise-" Kyle was also cut off by the Princess.

"I said! Be! Quiet!" They yelled as they sent a wave of shadows in the kings direction, not trying to hit him, just trying to warn him. The Princess snapped their head forward to glare at Stan.

"I just confirmed that I personally killed twelve of your men and yet you still think it's a good idea to taunt me? About my sister? Who you just told me is fucking dead!" They shouted the end of their sentence. Stan could feel himself shaking. Okay, so now he had begun to understand why his men were afraid of this... 'person' in front of him. 

Stan took a deep breath before charging at the Princess one last time, however the Princess clearly had other plans. Kenny quickly side stepped the Ranger before grabbing the back of his cape, choking him and forcing him to fall back towards them. Stan spun around, ready to kill the Princess if given the chance. He only stopped when he saw the Princess holding a small knife to his throat. 

"What the fuck? Where were you even hiding that?" Stan said in annoyance. The Princess just laughed at him. 

"I hid it in my shirt!" Kenny exclaimed, clearly proud of themselves. Stan could hear Butters laughing as he snarled. Stan tried to kick at the Princess but Kenny was much too quick. With a brief swipe of their legs, Kenny had Stan falling to his knees in front of them, knife aimed at his head now. Stan felt his heart drop when he noticed the Princesses eyes were glowing and shadows still swirled around their clothes and hands. 

"I defeated your best warrior and showed you my ability to use a dead magic." Princess Kennys voice was now completely different. It was more demonic, the King would call it. The Princess also held themselves much differently, they stood in a fighting stance, even whilst speaking.

"Who are you?" The King spoke abruptly as Butters grinned at Kenny. Butters did love vigilante stories when he was younger.

"My name is Kenny McCormick," Kenny stood up straight before looking the King dead in the eye. "I am the true owner to the Stick of Truth and the rightful heir to the Throne of Kupa Keep. I may not be an elf, or a human, but I am willing to die for your Kingdom if it gives me the chance to murder the Wizard with my own hands." 

Kyle stared at the other before Kenny kept speaking, "I know you might feel that you deserve the chance to kill the Wizard, but you don't know what that fucker has put me through. If anyone kills him, I will make sure that I'm the one to do so." Kenny's eyes were beginning to return to normal as they spoke.

"What do you mean when you say that you are neither Human nor Elf?" Kyles voice was curious.

"Before any of that can I stand up? And return to the Kings side." Stan whined. Kenny took one look at him before nodding. Stan mumbled curses as he made his way back to beside the throne.

"Well I suppose that was a lie really. Something to create more of a mystery." The Princess made their way over to Butters, lopping their arm through his, "I mean, I am at least half of one of those species. But which one is for you to guess, My King!"

The Princess flattened their skirt before looking to the King, "However I do assume our deal is still on? Now that you know of my magic, you see how bad it would be for the Wizard to have my magic and the Barbarian army by his side." Their voice was back to normal, back to sounding cute and almost delicate. The King thought for a moment. Now that he'd seen Kennys true nature, he realized how much of an advantage he'd have over the Wizard if he had the Princess by his side. He couldn't deny that he was also harboring feelings for the Princess. Feelings he had for years, ever since he was invited to a ball in Kupa Keep. But well, that's a story for another day.

With a wide grin on his face he spoke, "Of course!" He clapped his hands together. "I'd be more then happy to marry you, and even if it is a fake marriage, I would be proud to have you rule by my side." He could see the Princesses eyes light up as he spoke. He could also see Stan staring at him with wide eyes in the corner of his vision.

Butters thanked the King as he took Kennys gloved hand in his own, bringing it to his mouth and kissing the back of it. "Everything might finally be alright."

The Princess looked at the King with tears in their eyes. "Thank you! I promise with my help, we can take down the Wizard and take back all he stole from the Elves!"

Kyle looked at the Princess before smiling softly. "The Wizard will pay for all he's done, I promise you that, Queen Kenny."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!! Be sure to leave a comment and kudos if you think it deserves it!


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